My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
