Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize