obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
