it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
