i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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