Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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