she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
