Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dignity is for republicans.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Panties = found
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
