come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
