So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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