Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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