I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fill condoms, not promises.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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