Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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