the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize