she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Houston, we have a squirter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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