Christians are straight up FREAKS
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
