Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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