Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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