Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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