I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
