We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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