I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
