how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
