Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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