he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
