he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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