I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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