it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
