dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
wow bdsm is so cute
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize