my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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