I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize