Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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