hotel room ftw
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
