oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
