I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
