Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
