Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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