We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
