you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
