How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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