fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
