Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

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  (970): Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public. http://tfl.nu/mhvb
  Replies (16) Good night (658) Bad night (1004)
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  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2465) Bad night (1092)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.

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  (413): My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers. http://tfl.nu/7b3u
  Replies (46) Good night (8769) Bad night (1644)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
  Replies (9) Good night (3135) Bad night (1056)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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  (804): she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs. http://tfl.nu/jax9
  Replies (34) Good night (5060) Bad night (6390)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours

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  (480): I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours http://tfl.nu/lbg0
  Replies (17) Good night (1046) Bad night (2776)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?

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  (336): You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right? http://tfl.nu/gdo1
  Replies (6) Good night (3264) Bad night (784)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college

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  (847): i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college http://tfl.nu/qor8
  Replies (5) Good night (3677) Bad night (765)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.

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  (910): I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating. http://tfl.nu/3b9t
  Replies (6) Good night (2528) Bad night (980)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes

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  (334): If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes http://tfl.nu/khy3
  Replies (7) Good night (2291) Bad night (804)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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  (765): Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me. http://tfl.nu/xef4
  Replies (8) Good night (2178) Bad night (650)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

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  (262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (348)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am one hundred percent down for that

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  (773): I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight (708): I am one hundred percent down for that http://tfl.nu/mtzh
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  YOU DID WHAT???

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  (617): Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college. (1-617): YOU DID WHAT??? http://tfl.nu/p7q7
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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  (716): oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear (1-716): The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear http://tfl.nu/5vws
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (344)

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