We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize