What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood