do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.