you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.