Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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  (586): yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster. http://tfl.nu/tawm
  Replies (14) Good night (7508) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (+32): View more from Belgium

  guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for

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  (+32): guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for http://tfl.nu/2pon
  Replies (16) Good night (5316) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
  Replies (6) Good night (5157) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  it's a Wednesday?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  :)

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  (419): I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone. (1-419): it's a Wednesday? (419): :) http://tfl.nu/grqr
  Replies (4) Good night (3195) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3039) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.

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  (502): he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult. http://tfl.nu/fe1g
  Replies (27) Good night (852) Bad night (3261)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (1161) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

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  (408): No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard http://tfl.nu/3xoe
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

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  (812): My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out. http://tfl.nu/0i9m
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

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  (267): I have tan lines from my nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/n8t0
  Replies (6) Good night (903) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

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  (330): What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed? http://tfl.nu/wlz7
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....

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  (860): A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home.... http://tfl.nu/sz76
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night

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  (225): I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night http://tfl.nu/cijq
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"

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  (209): He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!" http://tfl.nu/rqh5
  Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.

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  (219): Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time. http://tfl.nu/f7se
  Replies (7) Good night (308) Bad night (618)

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