There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment