Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

  (212): View more from New York

  Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

  (212): View more from New York

  Really

  (941): View more from Florida

  You win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2471) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Ambien. No doubt about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310) Ambien. No doubt about it. http://tfl.nu/jq44
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (463) Bad night (3848)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button http://tfl.nu/bgvc
  Replies (11) Good night (2658) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass http://tfl.nu/tdnt
  Replies (18) Good night (7208) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this. http://tfl.nu/wyn5
  Replies (22) Good night (693) Bad night (3479)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (2889)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar http://tfl.nu/l67v
  Replies (8) Good night (2391) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number. http://tfl.nu/j9e9
  Replies (21) Good night (3658) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/a9rr
  Replies (9) Good night (2716) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg
  Replies (10) Good night (2132) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man. http://tfl.nu/vdpw
  Replies (7) Good night (2621) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know http://tfl.nu/qmd3
  Replies (7) Good night (734) Bad night (361)

Randomize