Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

(313): View more from Michigan

Not half as good looking as paul

(248): View more from Michigan

I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

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(248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw

Replies (5) Good night (1164) Bad night (597)
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(949): View more from California

we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds

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(949): we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds http://tfl.nu/xoyy

Replies (12) Good night (695) Bad night (3211)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.

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(314): I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmod

Replies (23) Good night (5021) Bad night (1030)
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(716): View more from New York

she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

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(716): she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/eill

Replies (29) Good night (6629) Bad night (1308)
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(519): View more from Ontario

dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way

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(519): dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way http://tfl.nu/6t17

Replies (17) Good night (1336) Bad night (3824)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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(484): You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you. http://tfl.nu/o9a4

Replies (3) Good night (1435) Bad night (3136)
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(314): View more from Missouri

For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex

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(314): For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex http://tfl.nu/vblx

Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (4662)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me

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(479): Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me http://tfl.nu/g33s

Replies (5) Good night (1957) Bad night (728)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

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(808): And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up. http://tfl.nu/dab6

Replies (9) Good night (3645) Bad night (883)
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(714): View more from California

They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.

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(714): They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost. http://tfl.nu/dynq

Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (725)
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(805): View more from California

I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

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(805): I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore. http://tfl.nu/x6ui

Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (353)
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(408): View more from California

But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

(305): View more from Florida

No idea what that is

(408): View more from California

Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

(305): View more from Florida

I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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(408): But college guys get to crossfade so there's that (305): No idea what that is (408): Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together... (305): I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words http://tfl.nu/rs53

Replies (8) Good night (1551) Bad night (393)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.

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(832): I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem. http://tfl.nu/pseu

Replies (7) Good night (579) Bad night (488)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?

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(608): I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay? http://tfl.nu/awtj

Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (396)
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(624): View more from

That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...

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(624): That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship... http://tfl.nu/fo6a

Replies (0) Good night (280) Bad night (111)

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