Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!