i barfeds in our rink
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
