it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch