Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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(650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23

Replies (23) Good night (1260) Bad night (3617)
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(805): View more from California

I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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(805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg

Replies (8) Good night (1982) Bad night (2883) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.

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(305): It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids. http://tfl.nu/tjbu

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(406): View more from Montana

she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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(406): she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure. http://tfl.nu/ut3o

Replies (5) Good night (1212) Bad night (2521) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?

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(703): Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf? http://tfl.nu/zyca

Replies (7) Good night (3332) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it

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(814): well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it http://tfl.nu/ljcc

Replies (18) Good night (4247) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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(419): View more from Ohio

Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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(419): Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class. http://tfl.nu/zkx8

Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (2441) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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(620): Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid http://tfl.nu/4wb3

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(225): View more from Louisiana

my head hurts. i need an adult

(225): View more from Louisiana

and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

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(225): my head hurts. i need an adult (225): and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult http://tfl.nu/wl1h

Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (512)
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(614): View more from Ohio

They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

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(614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu

Replies (24) Good night (1241) Bad night (3385) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.

(816): View more from Missouri

Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from

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(913): The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero. (816): Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from http://tfl.nu/rsiz

Replies (9) Good night (2536) Bad night (510)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

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(773): Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days. http://tfl.nu/hblx

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.

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(954): I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control. http://tfl.nu/bct6

Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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(313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.

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(504): You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men. http://tfl.nu/6nuf

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