she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
