Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize