I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I could fuck to npr.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
