What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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