Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
