I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
