Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
