we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize