Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
