i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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