So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
