i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
