Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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