i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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