so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
