seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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