dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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