Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
